The Raven Gregory

I want to become something new. Something better. I want to break every limit.

Today I did dips for the first time. First time working out for 5 hours (I had demons that needed beating). First time max incline bench. Oh and 1st in 14 months soberish I really wanted to drink myself into oblivion but manage to say no.

See future raven. It always passes. That’s what they mean by this to will pass.

It’s feels like I’m taking this body out for a ride and really seeing what she can do. Because it’s not enough to be healthy and get in shape. It’s about getting to that level of finally being able to….

Do all those neat moves they do in the movies. You know the movies and you know the moves. 😂 Now picture me doing those moves. There you go. 😝

P.s. Got my #4amworkout just had to sneak it in from the back. Back door workout.

#standupcomedy #weightlossjourney #neverweak #whosgonnacarrytheboats #nolimits #fuckinghatehashtags #notaninfluencer #theravengregory
https://www.instagram.com/p/CqVN6Xkrt1E/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Jogged just shy of 6 miles in 2 hours. Trying to disappear in wherever that place is where Frodo goes when he puts on the ring.

Sigh. One more workout to go tonight.

#thisisntevenmyfinalform
https://www.instagram.com/p/CoVpN33PRvW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Hey future Raven. Do you think you could fuck for an hour and a half straight? Nope. Probably not. But guess who the fuck who can jog five miles for an hour and a half and not have to stop? This muthafucka right here!!!!

A year ago I could barely do a mile. WTF.

Also, this one is for all the ladies getting it at the gym with the chaffing nipples. I feel your pain, baby. My nipples are here for you.

Oh hey look. There’s actually muscles under all that mess of pillsbury doughboy flesh. Neat.

And I will fucking do that pull up damnit. I’m coming for you pull up bar. Watch me you evil fuck. My chin will kiss you soon. 😈

#neverweak
#nolimits
#gettingitin
#weightlossjourney
#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#75hard
#ThisIsntEvenMyFinalForm
#canthurtme
#standupcomedian
#fuckthesehashtags
https://www.instagram.com/p/CoQdrRKP1hv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

When I don’t workout my brain attacks me.

Want to know how I got in shape? My brain literally screams at me and tries to kill me if I don’t. That’s how.

Hey there depression. Guess what? I can fight you now. I can beat depression. I might never figure out my brain but for the first time in my life I can fight back against that shit.

Fastest time running a mile was 14 minutes. Fuck that. We gonna beat that today. You want to scream at me brain. I’ll scream right back. (Kayla, I’m coming for that 11 minute mile next)

Also, my nipples hurt. This chaffing shit sucks!

Fun fact I’m being constantly reminded about on this journey. Brian Pulido words stay with me so much lately. That if you’re drinking or drugging you can’t heal. That’s the catch. Takes the pain away, numbs the hurt, but it’s a bandage at best.

Found myself tonight crying in the men’s bathroom at the gym on the toilet stifling my tears reading this book as I was suddenly thrown back to the day I saw my wife in the morgue and said goodbye for the first time. Yup. Healing fucking hurts. But crying without booze, being able to access my emotions, that’s something I cherish more than anything else. (Haven’t cried reading a book since Where the Red Fern Grows in elementary, good job David Goggins)

I left everything at the gym tonight. Now to sleep and do it all over again in the morning.

#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#75hard
#neverweak
#weightlossjourney
#ThisIsntEvenMyFinalForm
#canthurtme
#gettingitin
#soberaf

https://www.instagram.com/p/CoMf_HkOIwv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Last night taught me you need the heckler. You need the comedian who roasts you brutally. Only way you’ll be ready to tour and deal with the comedy circuit is if you can go when someone completely throws you off, takes you out of your head, play off of it and get right back on it.

Cause those fuckers are out there. Those obnoxious drunk loud annoying ass bitches are out there. And you can’t attacked them. You can’t attack the crowd unless you’re a master. So you gotta be ready to stick and move and hit back without missing the beat.

Heh. Also, Josh is our Patrice O’Neal. 😆 Hang out with him enough on that back patio and you’ll get a show and all the self deprecating material you need for the stage. 😆

Also, date night with the “for scientific reasons only” baby mama. If you make it to the last pic she trying to be arm candy for the Super Bowl if anyone has an extra ticket. 😉
https://www.instagram.com/p/CoLKx_VPWhi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

4am workout that didn’t get done until noon. But still got that muthafucka done.

And I WILL beat that 15 minute mile if it’s the last thing I do. I REFUSE to become 45 years old and still not able to beat that time. Two days to go.

Also, 68 push ups. Most push ups I’ve ever done in a day. Hard to believe a year ago I could barely do three without dying.

Now to do it all over again tomorrow.
Cheers!

P.s. I thought my ass was starting to look good.
……..

I was wrong. I was sooooo wrong. My son is no longer allowed to shoot videos because every side of my ass is the bad side. 🤷‍♂️

#weightlossjourney
#4amworkout
#pushupchallenge
#couchto5k
#75hard
#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#canthurtme
#standupcomedy
#standupcomedian
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn1B06urUhC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Going to my local comic book store to see my new book on the stands. 😆

#newcomicwednesday
#newcomicbookday
#standupcomedian
#standupcomedy
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn09l5dLE-A/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Holy shit I needed that. Whew. Missed that work out high so much. And yes, this is apparently what a midlife crisis looks like. Look like I’m about to go see Batman in the theater. If unfuckable was a look think I nailed it on this one. 😕

Also, this is how we swap out the constant question on repeat in my head as the voices swarm that “what would Robin Williams do when the going gets tough, would he quit,” to the reframe of “nigga what the fuck was you thinking with that hair yo.”

I much prefer the second thought process. 😉

Also, got mt workout buddy with me again. The dragon is back on day 1 with papa bear.

#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#75hard
#canthurtme
#mentalhealthawareness
#4amworkout
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnw4lMbv1Yb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I swear I will never be less again. The saying is be all you can be. Fuck that. Imma be more than I can be.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

First mile 308 pounds with weight vest and leg weights.

Second mile at 298 pounds with only weight vest.

Third mile body weight 284.

One minute plank!!!!!!!! Jesus Christ I saw Gods butt cheek on that one.

Body fully rested and recovered. Next week moving up to two workouts at the gym per day.

I will get that 15 minute mile before I turn 45 even if it fucking kills me.

#ThisIsntEvenMyFinalForm
#youaintseennothingyet
#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#4amworkout #watchmenow
https://www.instagram.com/p/CnNnSsFvK3s/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Advice heard but rarely taken:

Suffer from depression? Have you tried quitting drinking and using drugs for a month?

Them: It’s too hard to quit and I need the meds and liquor/dope to be able to deal.

Suffer from anxiety? Have you tried exercising every single fucking day? Have you tried therapy? Have you tried mediating? Have you really looked for an answer? Have you searched and tried each and every fucking thing?

Them: It’s too much effort, too hard to find the time and I can’t get motivated enough to do it.

No wonder it’s so much easier to believe a magic happy pill can fix you. No one wants to work harder than they have to. The catch…those meds stop working and then you’ll need more and THAT’S when shit gets rough. And bitch that day comes fast. Faster than you think.

Are the voices in your head getting too loud? Guess what? You can FIGHT that shit. But you the only one who can do it.

These were my excuses for the last ten years. Poor me. Bad hand dealt. Dead wife. You could never get this. That was me looking back in the mirror with an excuse for why I couldn’t fix myself.

That was me hating my life and doing everything I could to numb the pain and not deal with the real problem which was me all along.

This shit might not work for you. But have you tried? Have you really honestly no bullshit tried? If so my heart is with you. I pray you find your peace. But If not…

ITS TIME TO FIGHT!!!! Time to take back your life.
Again, you’re the only one who can do it so what are you waiting for?

💯

#mentalhealth
#whosgonnacarrytheboats
#canthurtme
#ThisIsntEvenMyFinalForm
#4amworkout
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm_rQSGL6tV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=